Tears of Pearls
by Queen Kakia
Summary: Heather and Gaia bond over how much life sucks.


**Title:** Tears of Pearls  
**Author:** Queen Kakia, KakiaGuerin@aol.com  
**Rating:** PG-13/R for language  
**Spoilers:** Up until the middle of book 15.  
**Category:** H/G "friendship" fluff  
**Feedback:** Oh, please please please!  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Francine Pascal is a genius and I couldn't do half the justice to the characters that she does. (Just, OMG, get Gaia and Heather together already!) Oh, and the song (and title) is Savage Garden's. They kick, too.  
**Summary:** Heather and Gaia bond over how much life sucks.  
**Notes:** FYI--Gaia doesn't know about Ed yet. Oh--and yes, I know that I curse a lot more than Francine does. I'm not trying to copy her style of writing.  
  
  
_"And we stare each other down like victims in the grind  
Probing all the weakness and hurt still left behind  
And we cry  
These tears of pearls"_  
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Oh, God.  
  
Heather Gannis looked up at the sky, at the dark mass of nothing. The sky was orange. How fucked up was that? A dark orange sky and no stars. There were times when she hated this city.  
  
She had always reserved a special kind of disgust for people who committed suicide. They were selfish. She was selfish, too--she knew that. Ed didn't have to spell it out for her. She knew exactly how selfish she was. And it wasn't as selfish as they all thought.  
  
Suicidals were weak, too. Weakness was the worst character trait a person could have. How could somebody hate life so much that death was the only alternative?  
  
If only she'd known.  
  
Oh, she wasn't going to kill herself. She wasn't that stupid. It was just that the desire was overwhelming.  
  
She was just a burden. To her family; another mouth to feed, meanwhile bringing in no money. To Ed; an obstacle to keep him from walking. To every goddamn person in her whole goddamn school; the source of their misery. If she killed herself, she could barely imagine how much good it could do the world.  
  
She heard footsteps behind her, and spun her head around. Gaia Moore. What the _hell_ was Gaia Moore doing in Washington Square Park at two in the morning?  
  
Heather gaped, but said nothing, as her rival sat down next to her on the bench. Gaia just raised an eyebrow. "You shouldn't be out so late. You could get attacked or something."  
  
Heather darkened. "Oh, and you care _this_ time, right?"  
  
Immediately, she regretted it, as Gaia recoiled slightly. "God, Heather, how many times do I have to apologize for that? I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry!" Her voice cracked, and this time it was Heather's turn to flinch.  
  
"I'm sorry, Gaia." Whoa. Where did _that_ come from? "It's just..."  
  
"Whatever." Gaia dismissed it with a wave of her hand, and Heather's feelings shifted from guilty to angry. Where did Gaia get off belittling her like that?  
  
She kept it in, though. The last thing she needed was another fight. A bitter grin threatened to expose itself on Heather's lips. Usually, a fight with Gaia put her into a better mood. But now, she was simply too exhausted. "What are you doing here, Gaia?"  
  
To Heather's suprise, the tone of voice in the reply was soft and sad, not mocking her like she'd expected. "I could ask you the same thing."  
  
"Yes, but I asked first." She didn't even have the energy to talk. Why was she bothering? Unless Gaia Moore could be of help to her--she almost laughed. That sentence was wrong, in so many ways.  
  
Gaia Moore looked at her, and then looked up at the sky. "Why is the sky orange?"  
  
Heather laughed despite herself. "Because somebody up there is mocking us."  
  
"You're probably right." Gaia picked up a rock from the ground and threw it an incredible distance. That thing must have gone two hundred feet before it had dropped.  
  
Heather looked over at Gaia, who was staring where she'd thrown the ball. "Does that make you feel any better?"  
  
Gaia looked surprised. "Yeah." She even smiled a little. "Yeah, it does." Heather picked up a small rock from by her feet and was about to throw it when Gaia spoke up again. "Haven't you ever gone into a violence rage when you were upset?"  
  
"Are you kidding?" Heather stared incredulously at the girl. Of course not. She was Heather fucking _Gannis_. She didn't throw temper tantrums.  
  
"Right." Gaia fell silent, and Heather took the time to heave the stone away with all her might. It traveled about ten feet and fell down. Gaia snickered, but quickly stopped. "Feel better?"  
  
Heather shrugged. "A little."  
  
Gaia looked her over. "You're not really one for violence, are you?" She shook her head, answering her own question. "What's wrong?"  
  
Right. Like Gaia expected Heather to tell her? "Same old thing. Life sucks. And you?"  
  
Gaia nodded. "Yeah." Then quizzically, "Heather? What's going on with Ed?"  
  
Ed. Oh, God. Heather hung her head, as if Gaia had just sucker punched her. Ed hated her. He would never speak to her again. All beause of her selfishness.  
  
_But I wasn't being selfish!_ something inside her protested. _I was putting my family's survival before my own happiness!_  
  
Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!  
  
"Heather?" Gaia asked, concerned. She started to cry, and hated herself for it. "Gaia..." she sobbed softly. "Oh, God, Gaia, I hate myelf. I'm a-" she sniffled, "horrible person." She collapsed, and Gaia caught her in her arms. "It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. God, Gaia, I want to die!"  
  
"Shhh," Gaia whispered, comforting her. Gaia Moore. Comforting. Her. What alternate universe were they in now? "What did you do?"  
  
Heather shook her head. No. It hurt too much. She picked her head up and calmed her crying down. "What happened to you? Sam?"  
  
Gaia nodded and Heather followed the sky. The damn orange sky. Why couldn't it be black, like a regular sky? Or dark velvet blue, with millions of stars, millions of little diamonds, lighting up the expanse?  
  
"Sam," Gaia whispered so softly that Heather could barely hear her. "Sam, and Ed, and-and Loki, he's going to..." her voice trailed off.  
  
Loki. She didn't know a Loki. "Loki?"  
  
"My..." again, Gaia didn't finish her sentence. She looked back at Heather, her eyes swelling with pain. "We're damned, I guess." She leaned onto Heather's shoulder, and Heather rested her head on Gaia's.  
  
The girls sat there, crying and comforting each other until morning came, and the sky changed from orange to light gray.  
  
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_"All these mixed emotions  
We keep locked away like stolen pearls  
Stolen pearls devotions  
We keep locked away from all the world"_  
  



End file.
